COMMENTS, REVIEWS, FORUM
Ask Anna: What size penis do women prefer?
WHAT SIZE OF A PENISE DO MOST WOMEN PREFER? —Anon.
The size where you’re not screaming at them about it!
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Because your question is so short (that’s not a reference to your penis!), and answering it could go a number of ways, I broke them down for you by category. Peruse at your leisure.
Random non-answer: I looked up “penise” to ensure we were, in fact, talking about your penis, and that there’s not, like, some new fetish out there involving circumcision and chaise lounges, but nothing came up. Except I did find that in Slovene, “penise” is the “accusatory plural of penis.” Aren’t you glad you know that now? I am.
Practical answer: Even if there was an “ideal” penis size, which (spoiler!) there isn’t, what would you do with this information? Lob off an inch or two? Grow your girth with elective surgery? Find a dark hole and cry from the injustice of not having the most normative nob? Would this information serve you in any kind of positive or affirming way? Or would it only serve to shame you for not measuring up? My guess is it’s the latter.
Inspirational quote answer: “Knowledge is having the right answer. Intelligence is asking the right question.”
Cliche answer: It’s not the size that counts, it’s the motion in the ocean. (I learned that from my junior high boyfriend’s dad, which, ew, Scott’s dad! Have some boundaries.)
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Pragmatic answer: Size does matter — to some people. Others couldn’t care less. If a woman tells you they are very particular about their dickspectations, and you know you don’t meet them, then don’t bang those women.
Lesbian answer: *Opens a drawer full of dildos, plugs and vibrators* “What kind of dick to you prefer?”
Philosophical answer: What is size? What is preference? Perception can only ever be partial, hence, questions about one’s size in relation to another are epistemological and beyond the scope of objective inquiry.
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Dadaist answer: “I don’t do size. I am size.”
Punny answer: You talkin’ ’bout Shaft again? SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
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Scientific answer: A study, published in the “British Journal of Urology International,” found that the majority of women, 85 percent, were satisfied with the size and proportion of their partner's penis. Still, 45 percent of the men considered their penises too small.
Tl;dr: Most women are happy with what you’ve got, dudes. Stop making your thing a thing!